Letting go is, at least for me, one of the hardest things to do. It’s so easy to get caught up in my own perception of how things should be and forget that micro management rarely yields the desired results.
I adhere to the belief that there is a force outside of me that has the general oversight of the comings and goings in this life, but I also believe that in addition to the karmic nature of my physical existence, there is a high degree of co-creation on my side as well. This co-creation, however, only really works when I let go. I used to say that God has a wicked sense of humour, but in later years I have come to view what I interpreted as God’s funny way of teaching me a lesson, as rather the results of my attempts at micro managing my contemporary existence.
I’m spending mental time with a couple of taoists lately and I don’t know who of them it was that said it, but it was something to the effect of “you become what you are”. That sentiment gave me pause.
You become what you are.
That’s heavy, yes, but it simply means that I carry everything I am and everything I can become, inside of me. All the dimensions of myself are in me, in my soul, in that part of me that is not describable, that was before and will go on after this physical experience has ended.
Last year I had the feeling that everybody and their grandma had a vision board. I saw it as a sort of late reaction to the whole “The Secret”-thing that swept the western world a decade or so ago. "The Secret” presented nothing new, but it was a re-awakening to the concept of the law of attraction. It seems so simple: you attract into your life all that, which you desire. Easy peasy, right? Ummm…no. See, if you start paying attention you will notice that not everybody agrees on how to apply the law of attraction to your everyday life. Some would advice you to keep meditating on that which you want, hence vision boards as a sort of manifestation reminder. Others say you must live as if you already had what you want and others yet say you make the wish and let it go. Huh? Well, I wish for a million dollars (or rather Euros, I think that’s the more stable currency at the moment), but it hasn’t showed up yet. Clearly, I haven’t grasped the concept.
But what is the truth? I personally find that, when I let go, my wishes are more easily fulfilled (still no million, but ok). Why? Maybe because I free myself of the micro management and become better at letting myself be led in the right direction. I think trust comes into play as well, which in a sense is nothing more than letting go. A flower doesn’t need to be told how to grow, it just does, and even if I wanted to tell it how or hurry it along, I wouldn’t know how. All I can do is plant the seed and water it every once in a while. The rest is up to nature, really. I must let go, trusting that my wish will be taken care of, for I am not in a position to see the whole picture, I cannot discern the best way for my wish to be realised in a manner that benefits the greater good, without disrupting the planned progression of things.
But how about picturing yourself already having that which you desire? Some say you must picture it as clearly and as detailed as possible, while others say you should rather pray for the greater good and leave the deatils to The Universe. I have come across the notion of us having the ability to be several places at once. Not physically, but mentally, and if you agree that the real you is that which is without a physical form, then I suppose it is so. I can physically be here in this existence, and I mean really be here. Not only physically, but also mentally, really be here, not daydreaming myself away to some tropical island. But at the same time I can cast a part of my mental self off to that reality I wish to manifest. Now, this is important: this will not be the same as daydreaming. Daydreaming is creating a fantasy, fully knowing that it is just that. Daydreaming is escapism, where you detach yourself from the situation you are in and cast your mind away into Neverland. Manifesting, I think, is being fully here and at the same time be fully there in your mind, knowing that it exists, it just is not here. The way from here to there is not disclosed to us; that is the letting go part of the exercise. Letting go and allowing yourself to be led. By the way, Bob Proctor warns of attaching specific people in our manifestations. “Don’t mess with people’s heads, that’s just not nice!” If you would like someone particular to enter your life, wish for them to do so, but only if it will benefit them as much as it benefits you. Don’t impose your life onto someone, but trust that you will attract the people who resonate with you on their own volition.
So is this parallel existence real? What is reality anyway?
Everything is vibrational, even that which we do not see and perceive as empty space, or at least so I’ve been told. In this way everything is connected one way or another. The theory is that I vibrate at a certain frequency and somehow am able to attract that which vibrates at the same frequency as I do. Theory is lovely, practice is different. I believe we all arrive in this life with an intrinsic intuition, though some are better attuned to it than others. Is intuition merely a sensitivity to the vibrations we are surrounded by? Is that necessarily an oxymoron? Can we learn to become better at receiving the messages?
I burned my hand today. It hurt like a bitch and I spent almost three hours with my hand in ice water without any of the pain subsiding. Every time I tried to take my hand out of the ice water I had to plunge it back in after a second or maybe two, before the pain would become unbearable. Needless to say, I was royally pissed off. I just did not want to sit around like this, I had stuff to do, places to be! I am no fan of self pity and my fingers were turning into pink raisins; something had to change. I came to think of this idea of parallel mental planes and I figured if I was in a mental state of pain right now, there should also be a parallel mental state without pain. That, at least, was the theory. So, I took my hand out of the ice bucket and cast my mind to a place of no burning fingers. Seriously, that’s what I did, no second thought, just go. It was like when I as a kid took a stapler to my hand to see if the stapler would staple my hand or not. I didn’t think it through or question if this maybe was a bad idea, I just went for it. It did, by the way, staple my hand. The point is, I didn’t give it much thought, whether to the stapler nor the burning fingers, but it worked! The stapler and the ridding myself of the pain of burned fingers. It was a bit wobbly at first, but every time the pain threatened to return I made myself pay it no mind and go back to the incentive of being pain free.
Now, this is a very banal experiment, born out of annoyance and boredom, but it did make me think. Can I apply this experience to other parts of my life? I trusted the fact that I could attune my mind to a different vibration. I had the thought, I held it for a bit and then I let go. I trusted it would work and I let it go.
I don’t know what more to say. I am not a guru who sits on the answers to these questions, I simply have a curious mind. I don’t know what works, but I notice that the more I pay attention to the signs being offered to me along the way, the more fun I’m having. I don’t believe in coincidences and I believe I have the possibility to learn something new every day that will help me on my spiritual journey. Maybe I’m off my rockers? Maybe I’m right on point? Who knows? Maybe one day I will write a blog post from the patio of my mediterranean villa?
I’ll keep you posted.